Processing no’s and setbacks are part of a writer’s life.
I don’t know of any writer, no matter how successful, that hasn’t had to process no’s.
I don’t know of any writer, even NYT Bestsellers, who even after achieving success hasn’t had to process no’s.
The life of a creative means a life of accepting subjectivity and not allowing it to pierce your resolve.
I was talking to my husband about this very thing (though not about writing) and was sharing that it’s hard to not let no’s feel like mini-failures. That each time I miss the mark, it feels like I just failed terribly and in conclusion, am a failure.
But he said something tonight that struck a chord. He said, “Then you just fail forward.”
Failing forward… I like that.
Because isn’t that what failures do? They mold us and shape us. We learn from them what not to do and what to do better. Failures thicken our spine and deepen our resolve.
Each failure. Each no. Each closing of the door is an alignment.
“Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time but it is the ability to resist failure or use failure that often leads to greater success. I’ve met people who don’t want to try for fear of failing. […] It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.” – J.K. Rowling
Failure is inevitable, but as you feel yourself falling towards that failure, shift forward.
That way when you hit the ground, you do so in a roll where you can pop back up and continue sprinting toward your goal.