dreams – Destiny Cole

January 4, 2017

2017 Resolutions

I heard Dr. Henry Cloud speak last night and he said something I really appreciated:

If you want your life to be different, it’s a good idea to sit down and figure out what you want that different to look like. You need vision.

Such a simple statement, but I think this is something that can easily be forgotten at the beginning of the year when we’re all setting our resolutions. It has to be more than just, “I want to have x accomplished,” it’s about clarifying your ultimate goals and then identifying the small/attainable steps you can make in the short, medium, and long term to get there. To use an example: Losing weight can’t be the goal—that’s a step toward an ultimate goal of something else and you need to be able to identify what that ultimate goal is or you’ll lose motivation.

And so that’s why goal casting is always a really big deal to me. I don’t just randomly make goals and throw them into the air hoping something sticks. I’m purposeful about what I want, what I need, and realistically what I can accomplish in a given set of time. So that being said, I have 7 goals this year:

Hike 5 Texas State Parks with my family
Finish revising TSBTS
Draft/Revise historical adventure
Write “Lyric’s story” (a MG novella for my daughter)
Read one published book a week
Finish getting out of debt (so close!)
At least 4 family meals around the table a week

Things that aren’t goals, but are lifestyle changes I would like to see happen include becoming more disciplined about my writing time and drinking more water.

Things that I am putting into the universe that I would LOVE to have happen (but of which I have no control): selling a manuscript (or more!) and getting a promotion at work.

Let’s do this 2017!

January 2, 2017

Looking Back at 2016…

Another year has passed.

Can you believe it? Another year has passed.

I know I echo a lot of “year-end reviews” when I say this has been a tough year for a lot of people. In my own life, I dealt with a lot of disappointments that I had to learn to accept, but with that and the election and some personal goals that didn’t get met, the last several months of the year felt like a dark hole of suck.

And within that dark hole of suck, creativity has a hard time taking root.

I also stretched myself too thin in too many different areas and as a result, lost a lot of focus.

And focus is kind of a big deal when you wear as many hats as I do.

But all in all, I like to think that I learned a lot about myself in 2016.

Looking back, my word for 2016 is: boundaries.

I spent much of the last year discovering, setting, and testing out boundaries, then readjusting those boundaries and testing them again.

It was a year of leaning in to discomfort and discovering things about myself I wouldn’t have admitted were there a year ago.

It’s also been a year of putting my writing out there in a way I never have before and I’m proud of myself for that.

So in honor of focusing on the good, here are things I’m most proud of in 2016:

I became a Pitch Wars Mentor to two awesome ladies
Both of those ladies got literary agents within the first week of querying/agent showcase
Started a fun Texas State Park bucket list with my family we are checking off
Had some incredible wins at my day job and got a nice raise
Enjoyed several “me only” writers retreats in Tyler and Austin
Went to an invite-only social media summit that took place at DISNEY WORLD! (so much fun!)
Left a house that was falling apart around us and moved to the city I’ve been wanting to live in since we moved back to Texas from Europe 3 years ago
Finished the first draft of a new book
Outlined the ideas for two new books
Revised ALLIANCE again in September/October and love it more than ever
My kid trilogy is THRIVING! They are seriously the most hilarious, talented, fantastic kids on the planet
Celebrated 11 years of marriage with my Belgian waffle and we went on a grown-up vacation with our best friends to Cancun!
Bought a new couch (I know that seems weird to add here, but I’ve been wanting this couch for probably 10 years!)
Was asked to help coordinate the teen volunteers for the North Texas Teen Book Festival
Realized I’m living my best life.

Yup, you heard me on that last one. I’m living my best life. Some time this summer, I was hit with this realization that I am—right now—living my best life. I’m not aiming toward living my best life… it’s happening right now and just realizing and then accepting that has really changed my perspective.

There is nothing important in my life that I am not passionately pursuing.

I am passionately pursuing being a published author.

I am passionately pursing being the best in my niche field within digital marketing/social media.

I am passionately pursuing being the best wife/mom/sister/daughter/aunt/friend I can be.

I am passionately pursuing knowledge and understanding how to use my privilege for good.

I am passionately pursuing generosity and giving of my money and time to worthy causes.

I am passionately pursuing my spiritual walk and finding peace within my boundaries.

Living your best life doesn’t mean you’ve accomplished all your goals or everything is going right. Living your best life means that you are in a passionate pursuit of life and choose to grasp hold of each day, each accomplishment, each failure and say, “I don’t care what I feel right now, I’m choosing to acknowledge that I am living my best life.”

It’s in that acknowledgment that true happiness digs its roots deep into your soul.

So here’s to 2017 and living our best life.

December 26, 2016December 26, 2016

To the Dreamers…

Here’s to the ones who dream.

Foolish, as they may seem.

Here’s to the hearts that ache.

Here’s to the mess we make.

dream I just saw the movie La La Land and am completely inspired. Such a raw story of pursuing your dreams.

It’s got me thinking about my own journey this year and now I’m completely introspective and need to get alone to listen to moody cello music and journal these thoughts into words.

But I do know this… pursuing your dreams is always worth it. Believe in yourself and hold tight to the core of who you are. Be flexible so the currents of life don’t break you, but know where you’re going and don’t give up.

February 23, 2016April 30, 2016

Passion versus Priorities

I LOVED this article from Mark Manson on “Screw Finding Your Passion.”

You need to read the whole thing, but the line that jumped out at me was…

It’s right there in front of you, you’re just avoiding it. For whatever reason, you’re avoiding it. You’re telling yourself, “Oh well, yeah, I love comic books but that doesn’t count. You can’t make money with comic books.”

Fuck you, have you even tried?

The problem is not a lack of passion for something. The problem is productivity. The problem is perception. The problem is acceptance.

I love that (and pardon the language if it offends you), but most of us know what our passions are, we just don’t pursue them. Instead we keep them on the back burner and say, “if I ever have the extra time” or “when things slow down” or “if I’m ever independently wealthy.”

I call bull shit!

If you’re not pursuing it now, then you won’t pursue it when you have all the time and money in the world. Success — even if it involves something you’re passionate about — requires hard work, thick skin, and determination. Anything worth living for is never easy.

“I meet so many people like him. He doesn’t need to find his passion. His passion already found him. He’s just ignoring it. He just refuses to believe it’s viable. He is just afraid of giving it an honest-to-god try.”

Because aren’t we all? Isn’t that the scariest thing about pursuing your passions? Because once you really try, you run the risk of failing… and if you fail then you can never say, “Well ____ is what I’d really love to do.” But here’s the thing… what if you succeed?

If you’re there today, I say take a chance. Make a move. Swallow your pride. Embrace the possibility of rejection. Do the thing that scares you.

You’ll never regret it.