To the Dreamers…

Here’s to the ones who dream.

Foolish, as they may seem.

Here’s to the hearts that ache.

Here’s to the mess we make.

dreamI just saw the movie La La Land and am completely inspired. Such a raw story of pursuing your dreams.

It’s got me thinking about my own journey this year and now I’m completely introspective and need to get alone to listen to moody cello music and journal these thoughts into words.

But I do know this… pursuing your dreams is always worth it. Believe in yourself and hold tight to the core of who you are. Be flexible so the currents of life don’t break you, but know where you’re going and don’t give up.

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Me Right Now…

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Me trying to balance revision notes on my WIP

PLUS, mentoring two #PitchWars manuscripts simultaneously…

PLUS, gearing up for the busiest time of the year at my day job.

PLUS, balancing 3 kids soccer/baseball practices and games on the weekends (the only evening of the week we don’t have a practice is on Thursday).

PLUS, having my sister and her family move in with us until they can close on their new house.

PLUS, my husband being out of town a ton this month for work trips.

PLUS… do I really need to keep listing? I’m busy. Case closed.

Passion versus Priorities

I LOVED this article from Mark Manson on “Screw Finding Your Passion.”

You need to read the whole thing, but the line that jumped out at me was…

The problem isn't passion.

It’s right there in front of you, you’re just avoiding it. For whatever reason, you’re avoiding it. You’re telling yourself, “Oh well, yeah, I love comic books but that doesn’t count. You can’t make money with comic books.”

Fuck you, have you even tried?

The problem is not a lack of passion for something. The problem is productivity. The problem is perception. The problem is acceptance.

I love that (and pardon the language if it offends you), but most of us know what our passions are, we just don’t pursue them. Instead we keep them on the back burner and say, “if I ever have the extra time” or “when things slow down” or “if I’m ever independently wealthy.”

I call bull shit!

If you’re not pursuing it now, then you won’t pursue it when you have all the time and money in the world. Success — even if it involves something you’re passionate about — requires hard work, thick skin, and determination. Anything worth living for is never easy.

“I meet so many people like him. He doesn’t need to find his passion. His passion already found him. He’s just ignoring it. He just refuses to believe it’s viable. He is just afraid of giving it an honest-to-god try.”

Because aren’t we all? Isn’t that the scariest thing about pursuing your passions? Because once you really try, you run the risk of failing… and if you fail then you can never say, “Well ____ is what I’d really love to do.” But here’s the thing… what if you succeed?

If you’re there today, I say take a chance. Make a move. Swallow your pride. Embrace the possibility of rejection. Do the thing that scares you.

You’ll never regret it.

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Looking Back at 2015…

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Remembering back to where I was on the first day of 2015, it’s funny how much life has changed (again).

I think I’ll dub 2015 the year of opportunity.

I started the year with such hope for good change and I got it! and I got it quickly! By February I was given several opportunities to do things I’ve been wanting to do for years and I grabbed hold of the ones I thought fit best and let go of ones that just weren’t working… And I went for it.

I was going to do it all!

Then I crashed.

I thudded into the summer completely burnt out. I took on too much, too quickly, and thought that I could juggle it all. New job, new work schedule, new agent, book revisions, kids, family, friends…

I didn’t realize the toll all of this change would have on me and my family and I stumbled halfway through the year and had to slow waaaay down to get back in control.

But then it happened. 

I found my rhythm.

Work stopped being so overwhelming.

Writing stopped being a chore.

Even the kids stopped being so annoying (which I know was a direct result in how my attitude changed).

It’s easy to get frustrated at what I didn’t accomplish in 2015. I didn’t manage to get my book revised to the point where it can go on submission. (This was due to the fact that the first round took me over five months to complete.) Which means I didn’t sell a book in 2015—a huge goal that didn’t happen. Then I wanted to finish drafting my WIP in 2015… that didn’t happen…

In so many areas of my life, I feel like I was given an opportunity and I couldn’t muster up the final push over the edge to success. But here’s the most important thing for me to remember: I didn’t go backwards.

  • I got a literary agent who is championing my book
  • I wrote tens of thousands of new words
  • I got a fantastic new job that I truly love that gives me a ton of flexibility
  • I read amazing books
  • I took my family on a dream of a Disney World vacation for 8 days
  • I deepened friendships with new friends whom I adore
  • My husband and I celebrated 10 years of marriage and we’re still in love
  • I kept a freelance client that’s been awesome for extra cash
  • My kids are thriving
  • I became an aunt for the 8th time
  • We went through a financial course to help us with our budget
  • We paid off 3 credit cards and paid for our Disney vacay in cash
  • My husband got a great promotion at work
  • I’m happy.

That last one is a big deal because over the last few years, happiness has been a struggle. I remember as I was setting my 2015 goals that this was going to be a focus for me. That finding my happy place had to be imperative even if it meant drawing boundary lines with people I love or saying no to awesome opportunities. I had to get to the place where I didn’t feel like I “survived” the week.

I’m happy to say, I feel like I’ve gotten there. To that proverbial happy place…

But don’t take that as a place of contentment. I have big dreams, people, and I aim to see them accomplished.

Maybe 2016 will be the year? Maybe it won’t.

But I’m headed into January with a smile.